I got an email from a friend on Christmas day that made me write this blog post. Shoutout to you Noah.
In it, he gave me a really important advice that I appreciate, you’ve got to ‘love myself’ more.
After reading the email, I thought to myself how can I love myself?
This is a question I’ve tried to answer several times by myself and you may have thought about it too considering how often we hear and use the word self love.
Anyways, I went on YouTube and found some videos that talked about self love practices.
In this post, I am going to share what I learnt from these videos so that you can practice the self love habits in 2021 and beyond.
Fifteen self love habits you can start practicing in 2021.
1. Practice gratitude
Self-love begins with being able to recognize your blessings no matter how little (there’s no such thing as little blessing anyways) and be grateful for it.
You can’t be happy if you keep focusing on your lacks.
I don’t have this, I don’t have that.
How about what you have? Be grateful for them and you will start realizing how blessed you are.
2. Stop self criticism
When I heard this, I knew I need it. I’m a perfectionist and if things are not done the way they should be, I criticise.
You can be your own biggest cheerleader and also be your own biggest negative critic.
But the former will do you more harm. Give yourself some slack, you’ve never done life before so don’t be too hard on yourself.
You are doing perfectly fine.
Anyways, there is no such thing as perfection. It’s a mirage and stop trying to attain.
3. Self affirmation
Self criticism should be replaced with self affirmation. You are human and you are only trying to be one so be nice to yourself.
Self affirmation encourages you to think positively about the important things in your life.
4. Take care of your body
Like Jim Rohn said, take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.
A healthy body births a strong and productive mind. Make sure you take good care of you body.
- Exercise regularly (even if it’s an evening walk)
- Watch what you eat
- Take your bath
- Take care of your physical appearance
5. Do more of things that you love
Doing what you love is definitely a self love habit you should practice. If you haven’t, start paying attention to your emotions and actions when you are doing something.
Does it give you joy? Do you want lose track of time or do you glance at the clock every minute?
Your emotions and actions can tell you if you like doing such activity.
Thou shall not spend thy time (or too much time) on things that do not make thy happy.
That’s the number one commandment of self love. You should respect your happiness by doing things that you love and makes you happy.
6. Positive self talk
When do you say to yourself when you’re alone? or what do say when you start having those meetings in your head?
Our subconscious mind acts in such a way that it does not filter negative from positive so when you say negative about yourself to yourself, your subconscious believe it.
And that means your conscious mind will find it difficult not to believe it. Slowly, it starts to believe it and you start acting that negative (sometimes even without you realizing)
7. Create personal boundaries
Setting personal boundaries is you respecting and showing yourself love. I use to be a people pleaser, I hate it when someone asks me for help and I say no in fact I found it difficult to say no.
I wanted to help everyone that asked (even those who didn’t but look like they needed it), I had no respect for my health or time.
But you know what this kind of thing do to you?
It wear you down, you feel drained mentally and physically. You cannot help everyone that comes your way and you should make peace with that.
Also make peace with the fact that people will think you are wicked and heartless just because you said no to them.
Set personal boundaries in 2021, what are the things you’d accept? and those you would never accept maybe because it does not serve you.
Respect those boundaries.
8. Plan ‘me’ days
I know I need to do more of this in 2021 and now that I am writing this, I realize that only me can define what my ‘me’ day would look like.
Same goes for you.
Your ‘me’ day could be only you in the room with a book and snacks and television and music. It’s fine.
It can also be only you going on a date with yourself to the cinema or to a local restaurant or even a spa. Just make sure it’s just you.
Oh, it can also be the one I practiced so much in 2020, just you in a room with your thoughts.
Honestly, I haven’t gotten a grip of my meditation. I still let some days go without me meditating, I guess I need to do better in 2021.
Anyways, meditating is making the self love habit list because it is an important habit to practice.
If you have never meditated, you can start with guided meditation. Meditation has numerous benefits and it helps you stay connected to your peace.
10. Don’t attach to your thoughts
Sometimes you may take your thoughts too far and they create an illusion that you believe.
You are not your thought. Learn to detach from whatever you are thinking especially if it’s a negative thought.
Meditating regularly can help you detach from your thought.
11. Create a list of things you like about yourself
Are you finding it difficult to love yourself or understand your worth? Try creating a list of things you like about yourself.
It could be something about your physical appearance or even your personality. You can add something as little as the way you talk to the list.
Keep updating the list maybe every night or week and you’d soon find out how amazing you are as a human.
12. Stop comparing yourself
Tell me what’s more dangerous and kill joy than comparing yourself with others (in the comments).
You are unique and so is your journey in life. Plus everyone have something they struggle with.
Because you don’t see what other people are struggling it, does not mean it doesn’t exist. Some people are just able to deal with their problems secretly.
13. Stop comparing where you are with where you should be
Another habit that I must work on. It is dangerous to live in the past, as it is to live in the future.
Stop comparing yourself to where you should be, it causes you to overthink and worry. I’ve been there.
Enjoy and appreciate where you are now.
14. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good
It is important to observe how you feel in a relationship. Do you friends bring you down or uplift you?
Surround yourself with people that make you feel good.
15. Get out of comfort zone
Sometimes the things you actually love and want are outside your comfort zone. Learn to get out of comfort zone
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Self love is important and there is no way you can love others well if you do not love yourself.
It is a daily practice and there is no right or wrong way to love yourself. All there is, is you knowing the things that work for you and makes you feel your best.
The self-love habits in this post may do that for you and they may not. Just be flexible when you try out these self love habits. Notice how they make you feel.
Also like I said, self love is a daily practice so keep these habits going this year and beyond, everyday.
Do you have any other self love habit to share with me? Please share below in the comment section.